The Unsticking Coach

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HEALING CAREER PAIN

Like the pain associated with Fibromyalgia, career pain comes in several forms.

Sometimes, it’s huge and devastating. For example, I will never forget the angst, pain, and emotional anguish I suffered during the ‘death’ of my career in Information Systems. It was a biggie. I had been a very successful IS professional but as I began to change and grow and become more interested in working people issues, my IS career began to wither.

I struggled trying to figure out what I really wanted. Consulted HR, well that was next to useless – they gave me a Self-Study Career Workbook and said, “have at it!” All I knew was that IS didn’t seem to fit any more and this OD (Organization Development) business looked intriguing. But, how was I to get into OD if I didn’t have a degree?

It was painful as hell. Knowing on the one hand that I thought I knew where I wanted to go but didn’t see how I could get there. And, on the other hand, no longer being perceived or treated as an “IS guy”. Talk about the horns of a dilemma.

Then it got worse. I quit a job I loved so I could spend less time traveling and more time at home taking care of my children (my then wife was in nursing school). This move turned out to be my undoing.

The man I went to work for had been a great client when I was Training Coordinator. And, for the first 6 months I worked for him we had a super relationship. Then I began experiencing some personal problems that affected my work. Instead of supporting me, which is what I most needed, he put the pressure on even more. Tightening control, removing autonomy, double and triple checking everything I did. After 4 months of that I imploded!

Diagnosed with clinical depression I wound up in the hospital and it was there on day 2 of my stay that my HR advisor came to tell me that my employer was going to pension me off. Swell! Two days later my wife came to tell me that she wanted a divorce and full custody of our children. Really swell!!

That’s when I decided to reinvent my life.

Through that very dark and painful experience it had become clear to me that god had something in mind for me. If I could just figure out what it was.

So, for the last 21 years my ‘work’ and my journey has been about getting clear about my calling and about how I can take what I’ve learned and use it to help others in similar circumstances.

So, what the heck does this have to do with careers and career pain?

Stay tuned…

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HEALING CAREER PAIN

Have you experienced career pain?

Maybe it was a big as mine. Or, maybe it’s been more subtle.

Like a colleague/friend. He was a writer for a local newspaper. I remember visiting him at work on a number of occasions and he always seemed down, discouraged. So, I told him the Frog Story. It goes  like this:

The best way to boil a frog isn’t to drop the frog in a pot of boiling water. No, the best way is to leave the frog in the water and raise the temperature ever so slowly. Then before the frog knows it he’s poached!

I explained to my friend that his work was like that pot of water — slowly cooking him. Eventually, he left. To this day, whenever I see him he remarks on the impact of that story.

So, what about your career?

Maybe you don’t feel major pain. Maybe it’s not a big mess like mine was. Maybe it just hurts a little bit. Maybe it just drags you down. Slowly, ever so slowly.

And, that’s the risk.

When the pain is small it’s awful darn easy to pop a pill and ignore it.

Are you “popping pills” to ignore your career pain?

You know what I mean.

Doing things like working more and harder, so you don’t notice how painful it is.

Eating more. Watching TV more. Drinking more. Anything, to numb the pain.

These things work, but in the end they really don’t help the way you feel or give you what you need permanently.

In a minute, some wiser and better strategies for dealing with career pain.

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CAN I HELP YOU?

Here’s what one client told me last week: “I’m so excited to see my new CD coming out. You know I would never have been here if it hadn’t been for you. I would never have gotten off my butt and done the necessary work to make this happen. Even though it’s what I always dreamed.”

What about you?

Are you sitting on your assets waiting for your new life to just show up?

It won’t.

But, with a little help from a friendly coach you can create the career and life of your dreams.

If you are blocked and yeaning to live the life of your dreams, I can help YOU.

Send a blank email to LyleTLachmuth [at] Gmail [dot] com with IWantALife in
the subject line/

And I will contact you to set up a F-R-E-E consultation to show you how to Get The Life You Want.

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HEALING CAREER PAIN

Step 1: Notice the Pain

Are you happy in your job at least 80% of the time? If not, it’s a clue to pay attention to the pain/discomfort. Do you start to get depressed on Sunday night? (I still hate the music of Fraggle Rock because it was on TV Sunday nights in 1984)

Step 2: Listen to the Pain

Where do you feel the pain/discomfort? Do you experience it as: depression, heartburn, stomach ache, or whatever?

The location of your pain can be a big clue about what’s missing from your life. Or, about what you are afraid of. I’m a big fan of Louise Hay’s little book of metaphysical symptoms called, “Heal Your Body”. Louise’s book says the pain in my leg is due to “fear of moving forward”. Oh, really… yep!

Step 3: Talk to the Pain

Yes, talk to the Pain. Have a conversation if you can. Write a poem. Draw a picture. Create a collage. Dance. Compose a song. Do something to get in touch with the “voice of the pain.” See what it’s telling you about what you need.

Step 4: Change Your Behavior

Take the advice your pain gave you and take action. I’ve found that even little bitty, wee steps make a huge difference. ACT! MOVE! DO!

Or, you could just stay in the pot!