I’m not sure if it’s my allergies or the constant overwhelm or just being an ‘old fart’ but lately I’m feeling really pissy about being asked to flex and change.

And, for some reason this morning I got thinking about Gumby.

Gumby arrived as a regular ‘performer’ on TV screens in 1957, the year I turned 10. And, it’s not that I watched Gumby and his sidekick Pokey all that much. At age 10 I was more interested in reading ‘adult books like the copy of Harold Robbins the ‘Dream Merchants’ I filched from my dad’s bookshelf.

Yet, somehow that pea green, claymation figure keept coming to mind today. I guess it’s because Gumby seemed able to flex, bend, and stretch far and wide … something I seem both less able AND less willing to do.

Yet, as a coach, counsellor, and consultant I encourage my client’s to flex their style of leadership, of communication; to change to meet the needs of their followers, their customers, and their colleagues.

Am I a hypocrite for encouraging this?

I sure hope not. Though I sometimes feel that way. After all I sometimes fail to heed my own advice.

But, let’s get back on point.

How far should you flex and change in order to ‘work with’, to get along with, to stay in relationship with, to be with another?

When is enough, enough?

That’s a question each of has to answer for ourselves.

But, I know that for me I’m feeling less and less like I want to be as flexible, as willing to change to meet the other ‘half way’, as I used to.

Am I an old cranky puss for saying that? Maybe.

But, this I know for sure … Yes, it is important to be flexible. Yes, it is critical to ’see the other persons point of view’. Yes, it is necessary to practice empathy. And, yes it is vital to change and grow.

But, god damn it, that doesn’t mean that for you and I to do business or for you and I to work together effectively;  I have to become Gumby!

Okay, weeks!

I’ve been working with the marvelous Debora Seidman of Writing The Prayer of Your Life. And, today we had a fun session that I want to share with you.

Essentially, I have two parts of me that are in conflict.

When I told Debora that it was like the clash of The Titans (think Greek myths), she suggested I create a play with these two characters.

So, I made up this play. What was fun is I got to be the Director and the playwright. And, then as the play unfolded I got to be a character in the play.

What was really freeing was when I got stuck Debora kept saying, “it’s a rehersal! You can do anything!”

WOW! That lead to cool events and major ahas.

It was fun Playing with words… and characters. I can’t wait to see what happens in the play!!

My frustration is never seeming to have the time to do them. Nor the time to
do the blogging I seem "called" and compelled to do.

So, I am about to embark on an experiment.

"Morning Blog Pages”

My hope is that by blogging, at least some aspects, of what would normally
be part of my Morning Pages I will make my Muse happy.

Rest assured though that I will spare you the b-tching, sorrow, whining, and
angst that sometimes comprises too much of my Morning Pages.

Of course, I make this commitment the day before I leave for a camping weekend
– no electricity, no computer. But, one has to start when one is inspired.

And, killing themselves… not so softly.

They keep going and going… pushing, driving, even when they’re ‘coughing
up a lung’.

Why?

Can you say it?

F E A R

Many, maybe most, of the independently employed women I know FEAR living on
the streets, eating dog food. They have "Bag
Lady Syndrome".

What is BLS?

From what I’ve observed it’s the irrational fear that – in spite of all
evidence to the contrary – they will suddenly, spontaneously lose everything
they own — and, be living on the street, begging.

It’s nuts!

Perfectly sane (well mostly women who can run any meeting, manage a mega project, beat out most guys, and they just can’t STOP working!

So, they get ‘little’ things like Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Asthma, Pneumonia, and other stress-related conditions. And, still they keep going!!

Don’t matter none what their friends or husbands or partners or lovers say.

They is running scared!

So, folks help me here PLEASE…

how do we get them to STOP

and take care of themselves?

I’m asking for your ideas!!

We’re just rearranging the flower gardens in our back yard, making room for a new garden shed. The rain is a blessing — it  means I don’t have to water them.

But, in a couple of months, if we have our usual hot, dry prairie Summer, I’ll be out every few days watering the plants. If don’t they”ll wither and die!

How come I know that about plants BUT I forget that principle when it comes to my Creative Garden?

I’m reading Julia Cameron’s latest masterpiece, "Finding Water". I was struck by this quote from Abraham Maslow, "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be."

Yet, when pressed for time what do I give up? My writing!

And, I see that in my friends who are writers and eclectic creatives.

And, then they get SICK. They WITHER.

If I am to flourish I must DO my ART!

I must water my Creative Garden.

One way to do that is Blogging.

What will you do to Water Your Garden?

;

In fact, if anything is true I tend to stick things out far too long. Long past the time when it’s good for me.

Thus it was that the other day I found myself overwhelmed by my ’school work’ as a trainee instructor at the University of Phoenix. That plus the fact that it was becoming clearer that my style of teaching did not match their teaching approach.

Nothing wrong with their approach. It’s very  rigorous, very thorough, very professional.

But, I need to connect emotionally with my students. Ideally I can see them. At the very least, I want to be able to hear them.

Admittedly, the first and last classes of each course are face to face at the University of Phoenix. But, that just wasn’t enough.

So, I quit.

WOW!

At the time I didn’t feel much. But, every day since, every time I log on to internet and DON’T have go read 40 posts about whatever, I feel this little ping of JOY!

Clearly, it was the right decision.

Sometimes, when you are overwhelmed it makes sense to get rid of something. So, get rid of what doesn’t FIT your style.

It was bloody hard work. But, after 20 months of slogging, 2000 hours of field work, research, reading, and typing, retyping, editting my thesis was approved and April 16, 1988 I walked across the stage and accepted my fake diploma.

Let me tell you. Going back to school at age 59 really sucks.

I’m taking certification training at the University of Phoenix, with hopes of become an instructor.

At 59, with a busy, busy practice who has time?

The good thing is that the University is putting us through the same torture — er, process — that our students (assuming I make the grade) will go through.

Geez. They expect you to attend class. And, interact yet.

And, just like the last time around there are those who contribute and those who, well, overcontribute. The later shall remain nameless.

And, just like last time there’s a plethora I.M. — Intellectual Masturbation.

That term, coined by a Pepperdine classmate, describes how educated adults can beat a subject to death — and beyond.

I’m beginning to wish my old Pepperdine U sweatshirt hadn’t gone into the rag bag.

After our first two weeks of class I adorned my sweatshirt with these letters A I M.

And, A I M, stands for what?

Avoid Intellectual Masturbation

Maybe it’s time to buy a UoPhx sweatshirt and get it monogrammed!

She has taken a sabbatical from her career of 23 years to "find her Bliss" so to speak. I’m still it seems in Transition, moving hopefully toward my Dreams.

We got to talk about why it’s so damn hard to change. Why it’s so damn hard to leave a situation/job or relationship that’s not nurturing us. And, which in fact, may be "killing us softly".

That brought up the old notion of being in our "Comfort Zone". And, she said something like this, "If it’s my Comfort Zone why do I feel so much pain?"

So, I talked about the notion that really our Comfort Zone really isn’t necessarily about comfort. It’s about as Wikipedia says, "artificially created mental boundaries, within which an individual derives a sense of security." 

It’s not about being comfortable… it’s about a perceived, maybe FALSE, sense of security. It’s about what’s familiar! Familiar doesn’t mean painless. In fact, we can become ‘comfortable’ with, so used to pain, that we don’t even notice it. It’s the ‘normal’ state of affairs.

That’s why being in the Comfort Zone can be the most painful place you can be!

And, it’s why you need to move out of your Comfort Zone.

CREATIVE CAREERS
UNLEASHED!

The online Career/Life/Work
Newsletter

For Writers and other Creative
Professionals

From Lyle T. Lachmuth

Professional Coach
& Writer

www.TheUnstickingCoach.com   

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HOT LINKS

On
March 1^st I joined some of my fellow bloggers to engage in a little
thought experiment conceived and launched by Mr. BlogWild!
Andy Wibbels. Follow along as I experiment with The Power of Intention and
manifesting my Callings at my post series, "The Secret Movie 30 Day
Challenge."

=========================================

THE POWER OF CALLING

          As part of trying to understand my Neutral Zone experience,
I reread William Bridges, "Transitions:
Making Sense of Life’s Changes," particularly focusing on the chapter about
The Neutral Zone. I was struck by his comment that once you’ve entered "the Zone"
you can’t go back to where you were, even
if you want to. Why? Because just being in the Neutral Zone – even briefly
- forever changes who you are.

Last
week my former, fearless leader called me up to ask why I was quitting my
contract. I explained why. And, then he dangled a ‘carrot’.

Well,
I was tempted -. for about 30 minutes. Then I made a career limiting phone call
back to him. I explained that I "didn’t’
trust his offer because I felt like he was just trying to sell me.’ He didn’t
seem to like that feedback. Well no biggie, because in the course of pondering
his carrot I really did realize I didn’t want to go back.

But,
where did I want to go?

Have
you ever ‘forgotten’ your Calling? Or, denied it? Or, ignored it? Or, pushed it
away?

I
sure have. But, during my sojourn in the Neutral Zone IT has been making itself
heard. And, I finally listened, resulting in the decision to have fun with my
pseudo-scientific exploration of The Power of Intention, "The Secret Movie 30 Day
Challenge."

Today,
I want to share some of the lessons I’ve learned about The Power of Calling.

What Is a Calling? 

I
am most familiar with the notion of Calling as described by my Christian Fundamentalist
doctrine. For me, growing up, The Calling was about being summoned by God to
serve "Him" as an evangelizer.

But,
as Gregg Levoy notes in his seminal work, "Callings:
Finding and Following an Authentic Life", many traditions have "calls".
Usually these precede prayer, initiations, spiritual healings, or major life
events and serve to summon adherents to, as Levoy notes, "a new level of awareness, into a sacred frame of mind, into communion
with that which is bigger than themselves… Primarily this force announces the
need for change; the response for it calls is an awakening of some kind." 

How Do Callings Show Up? 

I’ve
always experienced Callings as a wee voice speaking to me, combined with a ‘feeling’,
a ‘pressure’ like a hand on me, pulling me, prodding me, and guiding me.

So,
I was pleasantly surprised to discover other ways in which a Calling shows up.

One
is Passion. Levoy tells the story of Mark Dubois whose passion for the
Stanislaus River in
Northern California lead
him to found Friends of the River and then chain himself to a rock near the
river to prevent politicians from flooding the river past a level they had
promised wouldn’t be exceeded. Boy! That’s PASSION – and a hell of a Calling!

Through
the stories of others, Levoy shows how Callings can show up in Dreams. WHOA! I
said when I read that. I hadn’t thought of my dreams as a source of Calling,
yet have had very intense, TELLING dreams.

Finally,
Levoy explores how the Body can be a source of Callings. DOUBLE WHOA! I’ve known
for sometime that my body lets me know clearly and painfully when I am off
track. But, I had never really thought about its direct connection to Calling.
I’ve found Louise Hay’s little masterpiece, "Heal
Your Body" is a great place to look for the meaning of bodily symptoms. For
example, problems with our teeth are indicative of struggles with decision. And,
colds are signs of confusion. Sounds weird, but I know it’s been true for me!

How Can You Invoke Your Calling? 

A
word of caution first: DO NOT make any attempts to invoke your Calling unless
you are READY to go where it takes you!

I’m
learning that one big time!

I
put out an Intention to get clarity on what I’ve described as my Second
Calling. I’ve known for years that I’m Called to be a Teacher (read: Coach,
Trainer, Educator,

Mentor).
But, for the last 3 and a bit years I’ve had this ‘feeling’ that there’s something
more, or something else – my Second Calling.

Since
March 1^st I’ve been working my Intention through reading, prayer,
Inner Dialogue, and invoking Dreams. And, stuff has started to show up. But,
not the stuff I expected or at least not quite what I’ve expected.

You
see for awhile I’ve had this inkling that my Calling might be a call to be a
Healer. And, to work with victims of childhood abuse. But, so far, what’s shown
up is not quite that. For example, I have a client, a Clinical Social Worker,
who just yesterday invited me to co present with her at a provincial conference
of Social Workers. The topic: Promoting Your Social Work Practice. On the
surface that has nothing to do with helping wounded people.

But,
as my client pointed out, many professionals who are Called to be counsellors and
therapists have been wounded as children. Those wounds, and the work they’ve
done to overcome them, make them superb healers – and crappy self-promoters.
The act of trying to write copy, articles, and to do anything to EXPRESS
themselves OUT in the world evokes FEAR. They get STUCK big time.

And,
that’s where The Unsticking Coach comes into the picture. Why? Because I have
been there, done that, got the T-shirt, coffee mug, and scratches to show for
it. My Purpose is Life is to help people "professionals
rediscover and courageously express their unique gifts". That’s my Calling!
My Passion! Using My Gift of Words to teach others how to get unstuck.

So,
when you’re ready, pursue your passion(s), get out the crayons, invoke your
dreams, play inspirational music, and get ready to experience The Power of
Calling.

Let’s
sum up: I believe "God", "The Universe", "Your Higher Power", has Called each
of us. You CAN definitely ignore your Calling – but believe me it WILL HURT to
do so. Or, you can Invoke your Calling and experience The Power of Calling. The
choice is yours. 

Until
next time,

Lyle Lachmuth MS
(Organization Development)

The Unsticking Coach^(TM)

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Copyright 2007 Lyle T. Lachmuth, All Rights
Reserved 

And, when I’m teaching the nuances of the concepts of Type, I often explain to folks that there is such a creature as the Shy Extravert — I KNOW, I’m one — and a Sociable Introvert.

As I’ve trugged through my  Neutral Zone experience I’ve been noticing the impact of that experience on me. One big thing I’ve noticed is how I’ve cut back on my Blogging — both doing and reading.

Why is that?

Well Typologically speaking, the theory is that as I, an Extravert, experiences stress I will first become MORE Extraverted. For me that means first I become BIGGER, LOUDER, more out there and more INTUITIVE (what with Extraverted Intuition being my most preferred function). At some point, I will flip into Introverted Sensing (the Inferior version).

Without exploring the "truthiness’" of the theory let’s just say that I do note that as I become more vulnerable, more thin skinned, during the Neutral Zone journey I become more Introverted-like. I withdraw from the world.

Yet, I note my Introverted colleagues seem to be much more Extraverted in their writing. They put stuff out there in the Blogosphere that I’d never share — even with my therapist.

I wonder why?

I don’t know. Maybe you have a theory. I’m open to comments.

Musings on a weekend morning.