As I go ‘balls to the wall’ writing material for 2 books and 2 new workshops — who’s Hypomanic — I’m also shutting down my personal blog (www.LyleTLachmuth.com).

So, up to year end 2009, I will repost here some of my favourite posts from the past 5 years.

Let’s start with my “Gubernator” rant:

Confessions of A “Girly Man”

WARNING: This post contains explicit sexual and vulgar language.

WOW! It was way back in 2004 that the Governator coined the term, “Girly Man” as a put down of those opposed to his economic slash and burn approach.

I’ll not explore the psychology here involved … as in the Governator’s really in the closet, etc.

But, let’s look at who resents us so-called “Girly Men”.

It’s Dicks with Sticks, Dicks with Cars, Dicks who think they have big dicks but really have no IQ, no EQ, and have ’small balls’ (to quote a line from “The House of D”) .

OK .. I lied. I will look at the psychology of it.

As Freud might say, “Vat ve haf here is a clear case of projection.” His pal, Carl Jung, would add that it was a projection of “The Shadow.” No my dears not The Shadow of 40s Radio but that part of our psyche which we deny and disown.

If you’ve ever browsed the newstand, as I often do, you will see countless Dick Magazines: Maxim, Tatoo, Hustler, Playboy (which I read for the articles .

What these magazines have in common are scantily clad young women; in very strange poses that emphasize their tits and asses; hot cars; big cigars; and boys toys galore.

Nothing wrong with cars or young women.

It’s the objectification of them that IS a problem.

Ya see the Boyz from the Hood objectify womyns cause them females scare the shit out of them!

So, they hypersexualize them: they make them fuck objects and use the magazines as stroke books. Not that there’s anything per se wrong with masturbation. It’s the attitude these boyz have toward women that sucks.

I know because I was one of these boys — when I was freaking 15!

I treated girls like sex objects — the surge of Testosterone drove me nearly mad. And, until I discovered the joys of self loving, I tried to seduce every girl I dated. It wasn’t about what they wanted. It was about what I needed .. a good fuck!

Eventually, I outgrew that phase — well, except for those moments in the morning when my erection kicks in and my limbic system goes on high alert.

The point is that as a young, horny male I lusted after girls YET at the same time thought I was gay.

Why?

Because, I did not fit with society’s image or my father’s image of what it meant to be a man! I still remember the day my dad told me, “You need to go in the army. They’ll make a man of YOU!” RIGHT! Like the man he became — NOT!

It took me a lot of years to realize that my “Girly” nature had much to do with the fact that I was a Feeling Type male (think Psychological Type). To warp John Gray’s book title, I was a Man from Venus not Mars. Which reminds me of a joke: If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, where do lawyers come from?” Answer… ta da, drum roll .. “Uranus!”

My Feeling dominant step-mother keyed into the fact that I liked to do ‘girly’ things like baking, sewing, and needle point. She taught my twin sister and I to cook, clean, bake, sew, do the laundry, etc. I seemed to have a natural talent for it whereas my poor sister can’t even make Jello.

So, eventually I came to understand that I get along better with women. In fact, 95% of my Facebook Friends are female. And, many of my male BFFs are gay.

I happen to like my Feminine half. It is my Eternal Fem that inspires my writing, my poetry, my painting, and my creativity.

So, AHnold … fuck you and your labels.

My first thought was why in hell would I need to access the Internet while in Safeway? I pictured shoppers, laptops precariously perched on their shopping carts, crashing into other shoppers while trying to read their emails.

Then I remembered: my Safeway has a wee Starbucks outlet crammed in one corner of the store with a stand where you can order your choice of Starbucks poison and tables where you can sit and "relax" while drinking your brew. Perhaps Safeway was compelled by Starbucks to provide wireless access because of Starbucks promise to its customers.

Whatever!

Most people who come to Safeway come to shop for groceries. They might grab a Venti Mocha Latte to get them through the experience. And, a few might sit at the tables next to the Starbucks coffee stand with their not to be missed view of the checkouts, to munch an over priced biscotti.

But really, how many people are going to sit there with their laptop?

Damn few.

Which leads to the fundamental question: why the hell to we need such immediate access to the Internet? Methinks we have TOO DAMN MUCH!

One of the reasons I love to go camping in the Rockies is because I GET AWAY from the Internet. In my humble opinion, we all need to get away from Internet access!

Sometimes LESS is More…. More peaceful. More soul restoring. More sanity.

F that!

What in hell is wrong with being a bloody, raging Optimist?

After all, the high priest of Positive Psychology, Martin Seligman, a self confessed crumudgeon, is probably the most vocal supporter of the positive effects (and affects) of optimism.

Optimists live longer! Have more fun!! And, are damn well more fun to be with!!!

So, why the hell do the Fing "Realists" act as if they are God’s blessed army, right-hand "man", and generally better than us.

I get called a "Flake". A "Polly Anna". Oh, and worst of all "unrealistic"!!

Oh, scary.

You bet I’m un-Fing-realistic!!

I’d be freaking dead if I weren’t.

It’s because I fucking well believe "THERE IS AN ANSWER" out there somewhere. Have gone after that answer will all my goddam unrealistic, optimism… that I have managed to beat the crap out of my Bipolar Affective Disorder and am pounding the shit out of the pain associated with my Fibro.

And, I’m bloody OPTIMISTIC that one day SOON.. . I will live without pain.

So, FUCK REALISM!!