Okay so I wasn’t hit by a bus!

But it sure feels like it. Like a huge, heavy, nasty bus.

In mid-April, 3 months ago, I was hit by a severe manifestation (episode doesn’t seem like the right word) of Fibromyalgia. For the first 2 months I was in bed all day, virtually every day. Over the last little while I’ve been having hours and sometimes even days without pain.

As you might imagine the challenge is that when I have no pain there are many chores and errands to do. And, these take priority over blogging.

But, I wanted to let you know I’m slowly mending and hope to be back to full speed soon … Please, please, please.

Thanks for reading and for your comments.

I have been restless of late.

Some say that is an early Spring. Perhaps. Perhaps not.

I have kept a journal in some form or another since 1984. And, every once in a while I go back and read the history of my life.

One thing I’ve noticed is that March is always a restless time for me. It was in March, the 8th to be exact, that I nearly met my maker. It was in March that I got divorced. It was in March that my then lover and about to be wife moved in with me. It was last March when my 4 year contract ended.

The Ides of March approach. That fateful day when Julius Caesar met his end.

March is the time of Equinox — the day is equal to the night.

March here in Calgary is unpredictable, tempestuous, windy, tempermental.  In 1998 we got more than 50 centimeters of snow on St. Patrick’s Day … and it took us a week to get our car out.

I know I am sensitive to the weather — as are all Fibromites. And, to the shifting of the light — as are all who have S.A.D.

Perhaps, it is not Spring Fever so much as March Madness — and, not the NBA version either!

What awaits at the end of this tumult?

The image of a wooden suspension bridge across a deep chasm, came to mind during a recent coaching session with a client who is struggling to live the life of their dreams.

You’ve seen the image in so many movies … the heroine/hero desperately running toward safety is confronted by a rickety, wooden suspension creaking, swaying, seemling ready to collapse. And, crossing that bridge is the only way to freedom, safety, and the treasure.

I think that’s not a bad metaphor for the transition to the life of our dreams.

Here we are on this side of the chasm: dogged by stress … a stale, boring, job … or yearning to express our gifts. Between us and our new, shining, treasured ideal life is the chasm of transition.

And, moving through a transition is very much like making our way across that rickety, wooden bridge. The crossing sure as hell doesn’t feel safe. We gingerly step onto the bridge, much like we tentatively tip toe toward our new life. We hesitate. We want to turn back. But, we can’t. Because behind us only lurks our old life which no longer sustains us.

And, as we step further along the transitional path to our new life it feels even riskier. Often, in the movies, the bridge starts to sway as it is buffeted by winds. The same is true as we move through our transition: outside forces unexpectedly slam up against us. Will they blow us into the depths of depression? Or, will we gamely hang on.

Sometimes, in the movies, a wooden bridge plank will fall into the stygian depths. Similarly, as we transition to our new life old parts of us will fall away, lost forever. And, that’s a good thing. But, also very scary.

And, once we’ve made our way onto the bridge of transition we can not go back. Moving forward is the only option.

And, the good news is that even if we fall into the depths of depression, we can make our way out. For unlike a fall from that wooden suspension bridge, the fall into depression can expose us to hidden truths that will make us stronger — if we do some Inner work AND climb out!

I joke that my mid-life crisis started when I was 35 and it’s not over yet!

Actually, though, as I revealed in my special Unsticking^TM Teleclinic last week, my life has been on a Transitional path since March 1985. That’s when I hit the wall big time and decided to reinvent my life. I simply had no idea that finding and LIVING my true Calling would take quite so long. And, be full of so many transitions.

When I turned 60 last September I made myself 2 promises: 1) I would no longer do work I didn’t want to do, and 2) I wouldn’t work with people that I didn’t want to.

Those 2 commitments have created interesting changes in my practice. The ‘good’ ones are the nifty, new clients I’ve met since then, the challenging new work that has come my way, and the increases in my income. What hasn’t been so neat are some of the emotions that have accompanied this Transition.

Let me explain, in the hopes you can relate.

We have this fantasy that change will be smooth and easy. OK, maybe that’s MY fantasy.

Seriously though, I’ve noticed that many of my creative, eclectic clients are by nature OPTIMISTIC about the future. Dreamers one and all we create plans that are based on nothing going wrong. Then when the car dies, the snow storm wipes out the power for 2 days, or we get sick, we find ourselves waaaaaaaaaaay behind!

Oh, and let’s not forget about the jim jams. That’s a fancy word for the emotional reactions that surface during a transition.

That’s what’s been happening to me of late. Sure, rationally I can blame my lack of productivity on the chaos caused when the engine in the SUV crapped out. Or, the interruptions and noise created by the renovations going on in the home office. And, the problems created when my we site move took 2 weeks instead of 3 days.

True, those things are aggravating, but that’s not really what’s really kept me STUCK!

Have you noticed this? The more you want your dreams and the closer you get to them, the MORE VULNERABLE you feel.

Sure been happening to me lately. I feel very tender, raw. So, if a client doesn’t immediately respond I start feeling paranoid, “Did I say something wrong?”

You see, transitions are times that take us back in some ways to our childhood self. Times when we didn’t have a lot of power or influence. Times when there were bogey men. Times when some of us were abused.

And, all those feelings get resurrected when the roller coaster of transition drops down the hill into depression.

So, what can we do when Transition time makes us feel vulnerable, scared, and overwhelmed?

Here are some things I’m doing:

1. Talking It Through

Even Introverts need to talk it over. Find a good friend, usually a woman cause most women can provide the emotional listening you need. My best friend Brenda and I talk for hours every week, particularly when either of us is struggling. And, believe that’s most every week cause both of us are working hard to grow up.

2. Write It Out

I’ve been stuck writing. Thank God I found and wonderful writing coach and healer who has been guiding me through some very powerful writing exercises. Thanks to Debora Seidman of www.WritingThePrayerOfYourLife.com I’ve started to write again. Now, all the uck is coming out - but so is the good stuff! Trust me. Writing is one of the most powerful things you can do to sort out and get through a transition.

3. Get Support!

I keep saying this because it’s true and because it works! When I’m struggling I pick up the phone and call my coach. He has me back on track in less than 30 minutes. Lately, I talk to him once a week. So, get the support you need - GET A COACH!

I’m happy to report that my website has been moved to a new host. That means you can tune in to THE Unsticking Coach for more on what I’m learning about change and transition.

I was doing some intense coaching this week with Kathy Mallory, The Inspired Market-Her!

When I had a big aha!

First, a bit of back story.

I’ve always had a high need for autonomy: way back in Grade 2 I told Ms. McLeod, who was pushing me to work harder, "you can have speed and accuracy. Not both!" Cheeky litte bugger wasn’t I!

Over the years I’ve come to learn that what I want from others is this: tell what OUTCOME you want. And, then let me figure out how to create it!

Bosses who tried to specify both PROCESS and OUTCOME drove me crazy!

In fact, I realize that really deep down I just want to know the outcome! I KNOW I can create the best process and execute it with precision. In fact, I rarely ever follow anyone else’s process. It’s "just tell me what you want. Get the hell out of the way. And, let me make it happen!"

Back to my coaching session with Kathy.

She was helping me get some perspective on my second calling. In the course of conversation she pointed out the potential conflict between my belief that "my calling is immutable", i.e. I can’t change it or dodge it. And, my other belief and behaviour that I could determine the path.

Later, after the call, it hit me!

Here I was "trying to do it my way!"

And, that ain’t possible with Callings.

In this case I MUST trust the process! Even scarier I don’t know the process.

An  important aha!

But, one I’m still learning to live with.

Thanks Kathy, for your "bloody rational thinking!"

I’ve been talking, reading, and writing a lot lately about the Neutral Zone.

Oh, and thinking too: "how the heck do I get outta this place?"

I know better. But, like you I’m happiest when I’m creating. When I’m doing what I love: coaching, writing, painting, hiking. and photographing.

And, being stuck in The Neutral Zone often brings those things to a screeching halt. That’s one of the reasons I’ve been writing about my experience. It keeps the creativity flowing.

But, geez I’d love to step on the gas!

Get the heck out of Dodge!

Yet, that’s not the way out.

The way out is to GO INSIDE!

So, I’ve been doing a lot of Inner Work. My Morning Pages are one of those activities. Walking is another — some call it Walking Meditation. I walk just about every morning.

This morning I was pondering my wanderings through the Neutral Zone and what I might do to get out. I’ve been asking myself, "What’s keeping me stuck?" I’ve had many answers.

But this morning I may have found the right thread to pull. The one that will unravel the tangled web in my brain.

I realized that it’s not the Big Change that I’m making that keeping me stuck. No! It’s not even problems Letting Go of What I Did.

In  fact, what’s been keeping me stuck is how certain Significant Others will REACT to my Letting Go. Will they approve? Will they still love me?

I have’nt an answer. But, that realization has freed up tremendous energy in me. All the creativity that was bottled up is beginning to burst forth.

Now, if I can just channel it a bit…

This issue: A dispatch from the Neutral Zone - how transition messes
with your plans and some thoughts on what helps and hurts.   

CREATIVE CAREERS
UNLEASHED!

The online Career/Life/Work
Newsletter

For Creative, Eclectic,
Multitalented Professionals

From Lyle T. Lachmuth

Professional Genre
Buster^(TM) 

www.TheUnstickingCoach.com 

Want
to subscribe? See that pretty graphic on the left? Fill in your name and e-mail , press the button, and Bob’s Your Uncle! 

==============================================

DISPATCH FROM THE
NEUTRAL ZONE! 

HOW TO CREATE
IRRESITABLE COPY

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pages that scream with YELLOW!

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works from a guy who: a) really knows his stuff, b) because he’s been a
freelance writer, and c) is a gentle supportive teacher and coach?

Take a look at this
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========================================= 

DISPATCH FROM THE
NEUTRAL ZONE!

          As I said last time, The Neutral
Zone ain’t so Neutral.

          I share the following not because I want sympathy, sweets,
or chocolates - I do – but with the hope that these experiences

          Here’s some things I’ve noticed as I’ve stumbled, leapt,
shambled, zipped, through the past two weeks:

1) About THE
Experience

How
do you know you’re in Transition?

a) Emotions Ramp Up: Seriously, Transition shows up emotionally
and psychologically for everyone! However, how YOU manifest that shift
might be different from how someone else does. Traditionally we ’see’ women and
‘creatives’ as emotional, even moody. That’s because most women and most Creative
professionals are in touch with their emotions and feelings. If you’re a
Creative professional, emotions are what inspire you, shape your ‘art’, drive
you — and drive you crazy!

That’s
the ‘crazy times’ part of Transition. Transition sneaks ‘under your Radar’. You
feel out of sorts, not ‘normal’. But, you don’t know what’s wrong. You’re edgy.
Things that normally wouldn’t bother you now irritate you!

You
might start snapping at people. You might have trouble sleeping. You could
start craving sweets, especially chocolate. All this makes you feel ‘crazy’.

b) You Feel
Confused, Uncertain

I’ll
paraphrase Kermit the Frog, "its not easy
being creative!" You want to be unique and special - not "in the box". But,
at that same time you crave recognition and approval. You want people to like
your stuff - well enough that they buy it and, better yet, pay you well for it.

That
polarity is tough enough to manage when you’re feeling centred and grounded -
‘normal’. But, when you’re in transition and you’re feeling emotional and
vulnerable you can lose your way. WHO AM I? becomes a big deal. You question
everything you do. You doubt yourself. You worry, excessively, about what
others think of you. All of a sudden those great dreams you had look
impossible, stupid, or dumb!

c) You Feel
Tired, Discouraged, Deflated, even Depressed

All
those emotions and thoughts running around in your head tire you out! And, it
doesn’t help that you’re not sleeping right or eating properly. You’re NOT,
RIGHT!

Your
body and mind rebel even more. You run out of juice. Discouragement sets up
house. Your brain starts to manufacture dark thoughts. LIFE SUCKS! 

2) What
Doesn’t Work

- Ignoring Your Feelings: It would be great to ignore those feelings. Go
ahead and stuff them. But, it won’t work. Stuff ‘em and they will erupt. 

- Whine Therapy: Also know as B-tching or complaining. Okay, you need to a little. BUT,
spending days and weeks moaning, groaning, and carping WILL NOT help! It just
keeps you STUCK in the same feelings and emotions. TRUST ME, I’ve done it! IT
doesn’t work.  

- Worrying:
I forget who said this, "Most of the time
we spend time worrying about stuff that never happens." Sure you can spend
time chewing on your thoughts. It seems like you’re doing something. You are!
You’re wasting your bloody time and energy!

3) What
Helps!

- Support:
I you don’t have a Support network. CREATE one. DO IT NOW! Just the other day I
realized that one of the challenges of my current transition was the fact that
I had ‘lost’ my best support buddy. My business partner is massively busy,
engaged in a very large project and unavailable for consultation. So, when I
had that DUH experience: "Crud! I’ve lost
my most important professional sounding board"; I went out and found a new
coach and hired her to be my "shadow consultant". Man what a relief

What
support do you need? Do you need a coach? An advisory board? A "shadow
consultant"? A therapist? Get what you need!

- Time Outs:
Be kind to yourself. YES, I know all that stuff you WANT and NEED to do ISN’T
getting done as fast as you want. So, the last thing you need to do is slow
down, right! WRONG!

It’s
the MOST important thing you can do. Step back. Kick back. Slow down. Go for a
walk. Get a massage. Take a long hot bath. Relax. Nurture yourself and your
creativity.

Believe
me: when you are rested, relaxed, and calm you will be twenty times more
focused and productive!

- Forgiveness: Creatives like you aspire to greatness. You want to make a
difference. You want to be KNOWN. You want to impact the world. You want to be
remembered.

But,
your world is upside down. It can be so easy to crap on yourself and be mean to
yourself. DON’T DO IT! Forgive yourself for being what you are a creative HUMAN
BEING!

Let’s
sum up: When you commit to a Big Change you can expect to experience the roller
coaster ride called Transition. The good news: if you get support, take time to
nurture yourself, and forgive your mistakes the Transition will be far less
painful. 

===============================================

GENRE BUSTING^(TM) - Unleash Your Talents and Create the
Career and Life of Your Dreams!

Are
you a creative, eclectic, multitalented professional who wants to wear more
that one hat?

Do
you feel like ‘they’ are trying to force fit your unique talents into a one-dimensional
box?

Do
you think your talents are being wasted in a dead-end career?

Do
you yearn for a fulfilling career and a rewarding life?

Would
you like to know exactly how to design and live the career and life of your
dreams?

Then
it’s time to do some GENRE BUSTING^(TM)

Please
JOIN ME starting Tuesday, May 1^st,
2007 for "Genre Busting^(TM) - How to Design, Create, and Live Your
C.R.E.A.T.I.V.E. Career!"

Genre
Busting^(TM) will be a multi-week program designed especially for you the creative,
eclectic, and multitalented professional. The program details are still being
finalized but here’s what I can reveal:

When
you participate in this ground breaking NEW program you will:

- Discover your Top
3 Career Fields,   

- Learn what your Personality Type reveals about careers
that fit

   you,   

- Uncover your Career
Values & use them to tailor your career plan,   

- Rediscover your hidden
talents and skills,   

- Create a comprehensive,
detailed career & life plan tailored to your unique talents and needs,
and  

- At the end of the program, be well down the road to making your C.R.E.A.T.I.V.E. career a reality.

To
receive ongoing information on the Genre Busting^(TM) program. Send a blank email
to genrebusting [at] aweber [dot] com 

Until
next time,

Lyle Lachmuth MS
(Organization Development)

The Unsticking Coach^(TM)   

Your Talents > Your
Career >> Your Life >>> Your Way! ^(TM)

ABOUT THIS NEWSLETTER

PRIVACY POLICY:  I will not rent, trade, or
sell your name and contact information to anyone, at any time, for any reason!

CAVEAT:
CREATIVE CAREERS UNLEASHED and its publisher, are not engaged in providing
therapy. This newsletter is provided for informational purposes only.

CREATIVE CAREERS
UNLEASHED may be reproduced and distributed in its entirety only, including
copyright, legal, and contact information and only with live links intact.

Copyright 2007 Lyle T. Lachmuth, All Rights
Reserved

You’re fed up with your current MacJob! Who can blame you?

So you quit but have no new job lined up.

Since you:

• aren’t living at home,
• your parents have no plans of providing free accomodations or supporting you financially,
• therefore, need a new job.

What do you do for work?

Let’s assume you have half-a-clue about what you want to be when you grow up. Then my first piece of advice is start looking for entry level jobs in the career field that most appeals to you. For example, if you want to be a writer look for jobs with magazines, publishers, and so on.

In any case, DO write down SOME criteria for your ‘in-between’ job. What mininum income will you need? What won’t you do? What hours would you pefer to work (number per week and time of day)?

Make a list of the skills you have that you’d a) like to use and b) can use. Look first for those jobs that tap into the like to use category of skills.

Create a list of Top Three kinds of jobs you’d really like to get. Then network with relatives and friends and colleagues and share that list with them. It’s easier for people to help you if they have specifics. So, just telling people you’re looking for work is next to useless.

Promptly send Thank You notes to people who respond with referrals.

Make a job search plan. It doesn’t have to be fancy. BUT, do have a plan…

And, act on it!

Get your butt out of bed! Get on the phone. Write e-mails. DO something. Action leads to answers.

Warning: At first you may be excited about leaving. But, that excitement can turn into depression, especially as Winter nears. Get moving before the blue meanies take resisdence.

Hell! Take a job. Any, job. You quit once. If it really sucks, you can quit again. Experiment. Try.

Oh, and get, find, or create a support group. Navigating the job search desert is easier with companions.

The
title of this post may seem strange to non-Artistic types.

So be it.

In my work, over the last 20+ years, I’ve noticed that creative professionals
often struggle with a question of identity.

Why does this happen?

Here are my reasons (feel free to supply your own):

1. You have many talents/gifts — at least 3!
2. Your gifts weren’t encouraged (by parents,
        teachers, and so on)
3. Your gifts were criticized (by parents,
        siblings, and others)
4. You ‘sensed’ you were different and
        suppressed your gifts to fit in (to your family, your school, or your
        church)
5. Your gifts/talents didn’t fit with the
        place you lived, e.g. an artistic type growing up on the farm

Whatever the reason, you
wound up feeling confused about who you were and what you could do for a
living.

So, here you are 30+
years old and totally unsure what the hell to do with your life.

What ‘career tests’ can
help you?

First a caveat! Career
tests are all based on someone’s theory about the match between some
characteristic and job satisfaction. So, take any results you get “Cum grano salus”, i.e. with a grain of
salt.

Following are my two
favourite tests. In the posts which follow I will detail the pros and cons of
each test.

#1 Myers Briggs Type Indicator – This extremely
popular test, based on Jung’s theory of Psychological Type, measures your
personality preferences and suggests careers based on those preferences

#2 Strong Interest Inventory – The Strong, as it is
called, is based on the work of John Holland who developed an occupational
coding system to assist people to choose careers that matched their interest.

There are also any number of exercises you can
use to uncover and rediscover Who You Really Are — I’ll talk about those later.

Next post: A Look at the
MBTI and Careers

Way back in June of 2005 I was invited to participate in Andy Wibbels’ Biz Slap a compendium of provocative voice ‘mails’ from the ‘trenches of small business."

You’ll find my commentary on the two sides of Perception. Please, do check it out.

Let me know what you think.

Oh, and please join Biz Slap  It’s ramping up in the new year.