How far can I flex before I break?

I’m not sure if it’s my allergies or the constant overwhelm or just being an ‘old fart’ but lately I’m feeling really pissy about being asked to flex and change.

And, for some reason this morning I got thinking about Gumby.

Gumby arrived as a regular ‘performer’ on TV screens in 1957, the year I turned 10. And, it’s not that I watched Gumby and his sidekick Pokey all that much. At age 10 I was more interested in reading ‘adult books like the copy of Harold Robbins the ‘Dream Merchants’ I filched from my dad’s bookshelf.

Yet, somehow that pea green, claymation figure keept coming to mind today. I guess it’s because Gumby seemed able to flex, bend, and stretch far and wide … something I seem both less able AND less willing to do.

Yet, as a coach, counsellor, and consultant I encourage my client’s to flex their style of leadership, of communication; to change to meet the needs of their followers, their customers, and their colleagues.

Am I a hypocrite for encouraging this?

I sure hope not. Though I sometimes feel that way. After all I sometimes fail to heed my own advice.

But, let’s get back on point.

How far should you flex and change in order to ‘work with’, to get along with, to stay in relationship with, to be with another?

When is enough, enough?

That’s a question each of has to answer for ourselves.

But, I know that for me I’m feeling less and less like I want to be as flexible, as willing to change to meet the other ‘half way’, as I used to.

Am I an old cranky puss for saying that? Maybe.

But, this I know for sure … Yes, it is important to be flexible. Yes, it is critical to ’see the other persons point of view’. Yes, it is necessary to practice empathy. And, yes it is vital to change and grow.

But, god damn it, that doesn’t mean that for you and I to do business or for you and I to work together effectively;  I have to become Gumby!

CREATIVE CAREERS UNLEASHED! #96

What happens when you actually do find “work that doesn’t suck” but then … that work — part-time, full-time, or contract — chews up most or all of your energy and time?

Okay. Maybe, that’s a bit dramatic.

But, it IS how it feels to me sometimes. As much as I love my new ‘job’ as a “Cruise and Vacation Specialist” I’m finding myself  overwhelmed at least once a day,  frequently feeling  ‘behind the 8 ball’, and therefore, beating myself up for not getting everything done.

And, this, ironically or not, is the situation with several of my clients.

What about you?

Do you find that your ‘real job’ (you know that thing that you do to pay the rent)  sucks up so much time and energy that you can’t move ahead on your plans to live your dream?

So, what do you do?

Well,  here are 3 ideas I’m working on …

1. Get Clear on Your Real Priorities

One of my 30-something creative clients recently voiced a lament that went something like this, “I don’t know what to DO … I have so many ideas. What should I do?”

The “problem” with most eclectic, creatives isn’t a scarcity of ideas! It’s a lack of action and accomplishment!

My, and my clients, favourite ‘excuse’ for this is lack of time.

Sorry folks, sorry Lyle, but as the time management gurus are only too happy to point out, “we all have 168 hours a week!” It’s not the time you are given each week:  it’s how you spend it.

So, ask  yourself, as I am asking myself every morning, “What MUST I do today? What do I NEED to do today? What actions will move me closer to my dream?”

I use my answers to these questions to set my priorities for the day. And, 

2. Stay Focused On Your Priorities

Knowing your priorities is critical to your success. Even more critical is actually acting on them!

That means staying focused. Ah, but keeping focused is a very big challenge for creative eclectics.

Why? Because we are often ‘right-brain’ dominant people who live and breath ideas. Ideas stimulate and excite our neurons. And, there are a gajillion ideas coming at us every moment … oh, and people clamoring for attention!

True, other people do interrupt us … and, learning to manage interruptions is a critical skill. But, most often we are our worst enemies. Whether we are Introverts or Extraverts most of belong to online communities, subscribe to blog and news feeds, &/or just go ’surfing the Net’ looking for ideas or distraction.

And, that’s the schizo thing about being an eclectic creative: we need outside stimuli to fuel our creativity but when we get too much, or get lost in that ’stream of data’ then we don’t get a damn thing done!

So, to keep me from ‘wasting TOO much time’ being a Social Media Butterfly, I work hard at only allowing myself ’snippets’ of time on Facebook, Twitter, or in online communities. I pop in and out several times a day, stay for 10 minutes or less per visit, read the most appealing items, post a response or two, and then get back to work.

Well that’s the theory anyway. But, sometimes I get distracted! And, when I do, I try hard not to berate myself for it. And, I focus on doing My Work instead of lamenting my ‘mistakes’.

3. Stay Healthy

Staying healthy is a MUST for me.

And, it needs to be for you too.

Why?

The simple fact, as far too many have learned, is that “if you don’t have your health, you don’t have anything!” I’m finding that many of my clients, even those who are 30-something are reporting clear, unmistakable symptoms of stress overload.

So, what can you do to stay healthy?

Once you’ve made it a priority then ACTION is required. And, believe me, a once-a-week trip to the Gym isn’t what I mean.

No. A focus on healthy living means daily, even hour-to-hour attention to nutrition, exercise, and stress reduction. For me that means that first thing in the morning I go for a 5 kilometre walk. And, during the day I take time out to get up and away from my computer and stretch or I  go for a 5 or 10 minute walk in the back yard or down the block. I prepare and cook (yes, I’m the chef in the house)  healthy meals that follow the national food guide. And, I work at removing stress from my life and managing the stressors that appear in my life.

I can’t forget these daily actions … because when I do, I pay an immediate price: PAIN! You on the other hand can ‘forget’ because the price you pay takes a while to show up. But, remember the saying, “Pay me now. Or, pay me later!” And, remember that the delayed payment can be fatal.

Sermon over.

Practice these 3 strategies on a daily basis and you’ll find yourself living a more passionate, authentic life.

I got some interesting feedback from my last post,  “The Lure of Easy Money”.

Here’s what my client Steve said,

“One thing I might say (from my perspective) is that the money AIN’T easy… (If this is easy, I hate to think what hard money would be like :-0 )  and it’s not that I dislike the work itself — I quite like it.   It’s the people and the politics that make me insane. But your point is definitely well taken. “

When I used the term “Easy Money” I did not intend to infer that actually earning the money was EASY!

Let me be crystal clear! “Easy Money” is often the hardest, riskiest money to earn. It’s not “Easy Money” because of the ease with which it’s earned! It’s “Easy Money” because it’s so damn easy to continue to obtain work/employment with the same client or in the same occupational area.

In the interests of client confidentiality, let’s use my example again,  my contract work as a “Change Management” Resource, to explore what I mean.

By the Spring of 2006, I’d been employed on a contract basis for 3 years. And, I worked damn hard for the money I earned — try doing 200+ Privacy Impact Assessments some time and see how good you are at making privacy policies interesting and important to Physicians and Clinic Managers who just want to do their jobs.

I was ‘easy’ to just keep renewing my contract. I was ‘easy’ to sit back and wait for my Change Management Advisor to parcel out assignments (no marketing, no selling). I was ‘easy’ to just keep on keeping on.

Ah! But what wasn’t ‘easy’.

The dis-ease being created by doing work that did not feed my soul, in a toxic work environment.

And, that IS so often the situation I find my clients in.

YES, in their case (as it is with Steve) the work itself may be rewarding, fulfilling, engaging, and nurturing BUT — and this IS important — there is something about the work environment that is TOXIC and ultimately destructive to their body, mind, soul, and spirit!

And, that is why we need to be careful about “Easy Money”!

I’ve been there, done that, got the T-Shirt, and the Coffee Mug.

Where?

Doing a ‘job’ I hated, working a contract I loathed: justified by “the money”.

When I turned 60, after spending 4 months in severe pain from my Fibromyalgia, I promised myself, “I’m not going to do work I don’t want to do. And, I’m not going to work with people I don’t want to work with!”

At the time I was working a lucrative contract as a Change Implementation Consultant. The money was great. The work was easy. But …

I wasn’t happy.

The work had become repetitive, repetitive, repetitive. And, what was worse is we were discovering that our boss’s new boss was a slimy, manipulative SOB. Long on promises; short on delivery; amazingly adept at ’slipping a knife in your back’.

Then 1 day, as I left a clinic, that little voice inside said, “Ya gotta quit this Lyle. It’s destroying your soul.”

This time I listened … 8 months previously when the same little voice told me to quit, I kept going. 1 and 1/2  months after that my Fibro kicked in: with a vengance!

So, I planned my “Exit Strategy”: subtly turning down contract assignments so I could ensure I had all my contract work complete, INVOICED, and PAID by March 31st (end of the government’s fiscal year). And, my clear intention was to simply not renew my contract when it came up for renewal April 1st.The idea was to leave quietly.

Didn’t work out that way; and the story of the ending is a fun one to be told some other time, so I can get back to the point of this post.

Lately in my coaching I’ve had several clients who are quite literally suffering illnesses, clearly connected to doing ’soul-sucking’ work and who are staying cause “the money’s easy.”

What’s been coming to my mind as I’ve thought about thier dilemmas is a visual from a Miami Vice episode: we see a man sling a bag of drugs into his Porshe; then we seem him driving the rain slicked streets of Miami to a ‘meet’, and in the background we hear the plaintive words of Glen Frey’s “Smuggler’s Blues”, “… the lure of easy money”, as the guy gets a bullet (or six) in the head.

Ya see the problem with ‘easy money’ is … well, that’s it’s alledgedly easy. There is no apparent cost. I say apparent because there IS a cost — hoo boy is there a cost!

The problem is that the cost of doing easy-money work often arrives later: in the form of physical, mental, &/or emotional problems.

Again, I know. I sometimes feel like I’m the “Poster Boy” for stupid moves.

It’s taken being gifted with not 1 but TWO chronic illnesses for me to wake up and smell the mocha cappachino. And, to really grok this 1 simple fact:

Doing work that isn’t your ‘God-given Work’ is going to kill you … sooner or later!

It’s short term gain for long term pain. It’s ‘pay me now, or pay me later.’

It’s your choice: take the easy money and wither your soul, sicken your spirit, and die. Or, take the ‘narrow road’, nurture your soul, foster your courage, sieze the day, and follow your Bliss!

Thanks all for your kind comments.

I missed them cause I was busy getting ready for the teleclinc and the new gig.

Oh, and I was also preparing to teach an Unsticking(TM) workshop to the writers who hang out at the Alberta Romance Writers Association. That one was called “Break Free … and Write!” It was yesterday and was the best!

We had a great session for the teleclinic on “How to Find Work That Doesn’t Suck” I aplogize if you weren’t on the notification list.

If you haven’t already subscribed to the mailing list for my Unsticking(TM) Teleclinics (I run 1 a month for FREE) … and if you want to get the free resources I offered after the call then …

Send a blank email to unstick-clinic@aweber.com

The audio of the April 23rd call will be posted today … provided I master the intricacies of WordPress.